The relationship isn't working, and you've known it for a while. So, after some emotional turmoil, careful contemplation, and a lot of courage, you finally pull the plug. But then, a few months later, you… start hanging out again?! But why? Why do you (like so many others) keep going back to your ex as if you didn't have plenty of reasons to break up in the first place?
Give it time.
If one headspace is telling you to get involved with an ex-partner, and another is asking you to stay away, give yourself some time. Rule of thumb: Before making any more decisions about this relationship, you need time to reconnect with yourself — your self-esteem, confidence, desires — following the breakup. Time is inherently healing if we let it be.
Olivia Verhulst is a licensed psychotherapist based in New York City specializing in women’s mental health, relationship health, and trauma.
