Jealousy in friendships isn't just normal, but also common. As much as you may hate to admit it, odds are there have been times in your life when you've been jealous of your friends.
Offer Your Support
Ask your friend how you can help them work through their jealousy. Are there certain things they'd prefer you keep to yourself? Are they afraid they're going to leave you behind? "Focus on exploring how you can best support your friend during this time," says Devonish.
"If your friend is jealous, you can kindly ask about it," says Nickerson. For example, "you can say, 'Did I hurt you with what I just said? If so, please tell me about it.'Then listen and point out anything you hear that makes sense and you can agree with. Validate your friend's hurt feelings and then offer a different spin on your friend's interpretation, something more positive and that paints you both in a good light." Reassure your friend, offer support, and point out evidence or examples to contradict any negative thinking.
Set Boundaries
Although you deserve and should celebrate every accomplishment you achieve, you may want to set up some healthy and realistic boundaries for your friend who’s struggling with jealousy. “If a friend is making you feel guilty or not as excited about your success through their behavior, you may want to consider setting some effective boundaries to avoid complete elimination of the friendship,” says Devonish. (See: How to Set Boundaries with Anyone In Your Life)
Even if they're your best friend, they don't need to know about every pay raise, every perfect date you have, and otherwise. You're not keeping things from them; you're setting up boundaries to protect them. On the flip side, if you're only presenting a highlight reel to your friend, perhaps it's as simple as mentioning some of the not-so-great things happening in your life. (After all, no one's life is perfect 100 percent of the time.)
Be Mindful
It takes a lot for someone to admit to their own insecurities, especially ones that revolve around jealous feelings, so have this in the forefront of your mind when spending time with your friend. "Jealousy does not mean that your friend will sabotage your success," says Devonish. "Reality check: It is possible for a friend to feel jealous and genuinely happy for you at the same time."
While there are situations where jealousy in frienships can get out of control, they usually play out in fictional situations or extreme cases that eventually find themselves on the Lifetime channel. But if you look at all the real friendships in the world, you'll see the latter is pretty damn rare.
At the end of the day, because jealousy is an emotion, it will pass in time. Take it from Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke: “Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Jealousy isn’t exempt from this rule.
